Euro 2008 Guardian Sweepstakes

Exciting, isn't it? We are just a few months away from the first England-less major soccerball tournament in 14 years. When Taylor's boys fucked up in 1993, the Prem was in its infancy and football was yet to become the great big fuck-off THING it is today. (anybody want to buy some shares in JJB?). How is the country, the economy, and more pertinently to this concern, the footballing press going to cope with it? I can't wait.

One cert: the "England are out. Who should we support?" filler piece. Guardian will be there first, obviously, but will be followed by all the rest. The question is, what will the most "opinion" opinion on this be?

As far as I can see, the frontrunners are:

Poland - but maybe too London-centric and obvious
Germany - maybe too Guardian for even the Guardian
Austria - spirit of Havant & Waterlooville (who could probably beat Austria)

What do we think? (Obviously, I will be supporting France.)

The other dead cert is "In a way, it's better that England haven't etc" which is of course indefensible bollocks.

Carrick, early b-sides and The Emperor's New Clothes

The latest fashion amongst the more "intellectual" end of football journalism seems to be a renewed awe for the "ball-playing" midfielder. Much as any self-respecting music critic will profess a love for a band's early b-sides rather than the famous songs which are good, so a pretentious football writer will effuse praise on a Pirlo or a Xavi, rather than players who actually score the fucking goals.

Witness the Guardian's man-of-the-match rated performance for Carrick. Apparently he "Dictated the flow, covered superbly and composure shone" (which is grammatically inconsistent at best) despite the fact he "Had crowd (sic) on his back for three bad passes". Maybe that crowd have seen him play more times than you, Andy Hunter, and know a stinker when they see one.

Now I am a fan of the anchor-role; the string pulling, linchpin of a side. Paul Scholes, for example, is certainly one of the greatest English players of the last 20 years. He has a knack of knowing what the right pass is, be it 5 yards or 50. In the case of Carrick, however, I just don't see it. We know about the long list of weaknesses in his game: tackling, pace, heading, finishing etc. But even his supposed strength of passing seems no better to me than a Lampard, Gerrard or Barry never mind a Scholes, Hargreaves or Anderson, whom he must battle for a place in the side.

I'm watching you Carrick and I'm not afraid to say it. The Emperor has no clothes!

Sepp Blatter is wrong about everything

Sepp Blatter is a maniac who wants to ruin football. In just one week, he's managed to be utterly incorrect about four separate issues!

Issue 1 - obviously it's a brilliant idea, you fool

Issue 2 - because pivotal sporting contests shouldn't be decided on the whims of power crazed little Hitlers

Issue 3 - Wenger made a similar statement in the heat of the Eduardo tackle, but then rightly retracted it when he'd calmed down. Is Blatter seriously suggesting you ruin someone's career for a moment of madness?

Issue 4 - it would be a laugh, and so obviously he opposes it.

Footy, footy, footy

Nice to see Adam & Joe's deliberately terrible piss-take football song being used with a straight face by npower for their ridiculous "carbon footyprint" campaign.

Mourinho eager to 'kill' Chelsea

From the bbc.

Let's hope it's as the new manager of Manchester United.